


5 Times David Thought About His Boyfriends and 1 Time They Thought About Him

by aintweproudriff



Series: IRL 'verse [4]
Category: Newsies (1992), Newsies - All Media Types, Newsies!: the Musical - Fierstein/Menken
Genre: Multi, Not many more characters, Quite a bit of misgendering, Some will be mentioned, if you don't know the places I talk about you should go look them up, many will be unnamed ocs who don't matter at all, theyre incredible
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-11
Updated: 2017-07-17
Packaged: 2018-11-30 16:23:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11467248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aintweproudriff/pseuds/aintweproudriff
Summary: "Distance makes the heart grow fonder, said by someone stronger than me"Davey goes on a trip and misses his boyfriends.





	1. The Plane Ride

**Author's Note:**

> I needed a way to deal with what I experienced. So here's a fic about it.

David had no clue what the fuck he was doing on this plane, flying towards uncertainty and away from the best people in his life. 

Okay, so his logical side did know what he was doing, he just didn’t know what made him think it would be a great idea to fly from New York to Helsinki to Tallinn with his work. Sure, he’d enjoyed it last year. But he hadn’t been out of the closet last year. He hadn’t had two boyfriends last year, and he had still been using she/her pronouns with most people. A passport with a dead name, people who used said dead name, and the anxiety that always came with traveling made for a hard time. 

Sitting on the plane, everyone was talking to each other, and everyone had their own groups. Everyone, it seemed, except David. He wasn’t sure he wanted to be talking to these people, though. They chatted aimlessly; he wanted something a little more meaningful. Or maybe he didn’t. Maybe he would have been okay with pointless talking, if only it was with Crutchie and Jack. 

He wished they were here. His foot scuffed the floor. Everything was easier with the two of them around. Smiling was easier when they were with him. Crying was easier with them around. Hell, they would have made the long flight more bearable.  
Better yet, he wished he was with them, back at one of their homes, probably watching a movie and laughing. He wondered if they were thinking about him, whatever they were doing. David was tired, and grumpy, and nervous. They were home resting, cuddling, and happy. 

At the very least, he wanted to be able to text them. That, however, would have to wait another five hours until he was in London. They’d be asleep at that point, because it’d be really late. So he’d actually probably have to wait until Helsinki or Tallinn if he wanted a reply, which he really did.  
It was the littlest thing. It was the smallest, most insignificant action he could have taken to feel more comfortable, and he couldn’t even do that.  
-

He was really trying his best not to be angry, and to keep a positive outlook on what was happening. He couldn’t get angry; not with his coworkers for ignoring him, not with his boss for sending him, not even with himself for going. Being angry wouldn’t solve anything, he told himself. Only keeping his mind together would get him through this. 

Instead of thinking about it any longer, he plugged in his earbuds so he could try to escape.  
It only made his loneliness worse when, a couple of songs in, a familiar song began to play. Suddenly David was accosted with memories of dancing to Ed Sheeran at queer prom. He frowned and his thumb moved to change the song, but it hovered over his phone screen until finally moving away. His eyes closed, and his fingers twitched, as if he were intertwining them with someone else’s before dancing. For a minute, he was no longer on a seven hour flight with four hundred strangers. Instead he was holding his boyfriends’ hands, smiling and dancing, accompanied by fifty people just like him. 

-

He must have fallen asleep while he was caught up in his memory, because all of a sudden he noticed the plane shake the way it does when the wheels eject for landing. Within about ten minutes, they had landed. And in ten minutes more, he was sat in an uncomfortable airport chair, with his phone in his hand. 

David Jacobs (you): Hey guys, I know it’s like midnight in New York, but I’m letting you know that I am safely in London. I’m tired as heck, but I wanted to text and say that I love and miss you both a lot. 

Ray of Sunshine: Awe, Davey! I love and miss you too. I’m glad you’re there safely. Jack’s asleep right now, I’m at his place, and I’m about to turn in too. So we probably won’t reply, but text us when you land and when you get to the hotel. Send pictures too!

David Jacobs (you): Will do. Sweet dreams to both of you. I love you. 

Ray of Sunshine: <3


	2. The Hotel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. I got so many nice comments on my last chapter. Thanks so much, I hope these next few chapters don't let y'all down.

Roughly 20 hours after receiving the text from Crutchie, David woke up in possibly the most comfortable hotel bed ever. He’d slept like a rock between the pure white sheets.  
Of course, with his luck, nothing would stay right for long. Upon standing up, he noticed the giant spot of red.

“You’ve got to be kidding,” he whispered, doing his best not to wake up his roommate. She was a nice enough girl, with dyed purple hair and the loud personality to match. David wasn’t sure he could deal both with her and with this so early in the morning.   
He put his head in his hands and, thanking himself for not showering the night before, stepped into the bathroom. 

He wanted to stay positive, he really did. It wasn’t easy, though, when it felt like everything was going wrong. He just wished Jack and Crutchie were with him. Not in the shower, necessarily, although - no. He wanted them to be waiting outside the bathroom door, preferably with a box of tampons, chocolate, and open arms. 

“Buck up,” he told himself. “You’re okay .Not like you’re the only person this happens to. You’ll survive.”

He emerged from the bathroom, fully dressed, to find his roommate slowly sitting up in bed.   
Good morning,” he said, trying to hide any trace of bitterness. “How’d you sleep?”  
“Mmph,” she grumbled, and fell dramatically back onto her pillow.  
“Yeah. Me too, man,” he murmured, going to put his clothes in his suitcase. 

The rest of the day was pretty standard. He and his roommate grabbed breakfast from the hotel restaurant, and then the group met for a walk around the city.  
Everywhere they went served to convince David that this was the most beautiful place in the world. Some of the buildings were built as early as the 12th century, and still were taller than his own home or school.   
Weaving down stone-laden streets, in between red-roofed buildings, free wifi was available. To one side of the city stood the building that had been the tallest tower in Europe in its prime during the 1100s. To the other side towered a chrome building that probably held an app company.   
It was incredible. It looked like a painting. 

The group walked through a mall, and all the advertisements in Estonian and Russian grabbed his attention.   
More than once, he went to comment on something, or to make a joke, but found that no one was listening. That might have been his problem; at home, he knew where he fit in. Here, he had no idea. At home, he fit in by holding Jack’s left hand, or sometimes Crutchie’s left hand, or occasionally in between he two of them. Here, he fit in at the very back of the group. 

Oh well. He was in Europe. He’d take in as much as possible, and not even worry about making friends.   
Mostly. 

By the end of the day, he’d at least talked to more people, and had gotten a little more comfortable being around them.   
Still, he tended to gravitate to the back of the group, and he was okay with that. If he didn’t have to talk to people, he could soak up the city better. 

That’s what he was doing on the walk to an amphitheater; taking in the culture.   
That’s what he was doing inside the amphitheater; watching the semi-annual dance festival and wondering what the words to the song meant. 

That’s what ended abruptly when he got into the port-a-potty after the performance ended. 

“Fuck,” he breathed. If the situation hadn’t been what it was, he might have laughed and noted how his friends were becoming bad influences. Unfortunately, he had to pay attention to the fact that he had bled through a tampon, and all the way through his shorts.   
He did what he could to fix the problem, and then pulled his hoodie down as far as he could.   
After stepping out of the port-a-potty and walking a little ways with the group, he walked to one of the girls that he almost considered a friend and confided in her. 

“Oh, I’m sorry, that sucks,” she patted his shoulder. “Make sure you wash it with soap and cold water. It happens to all us ladies at some point or another.”

It wasn’t her fault. She didn’t know any better. David knew that. But it still wasn’t fun. 

As he and the group continued the walk to the hotel, he wondered guiltily if it was possible for the whole trip to be this back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it, please let me know what you think!   
> Also, I made a playlist for this universe. If you've got ideas if songs to add, or you don't like what I've chosen, please let me know! Here's the link: https://open.spotify.com/user/nerdybek/playlist/35dkcCS3ssFogEk8kMZkHP


	3. The Camp

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for being so nice about this fic. It means a lot.  
> Sorry this chapter is so much shorter than the others. I promise the next one will be better.

Thankfully, it was impossible for the trip to continue to suck. 

-

 

The team of people eventually reached the camp at which they were supposed to work, and the second that they stepped off the bus, they were attacked by some of the friends they had made last year, who ran up to them and hugged them.  
One girl tackled one of the American girls so hard that they both fell over.  
David and one of his friends from last year stood hugging in silence for well over a few minutes. 

-

The group unpacked in their rooms, and set up beds on the floor. For a second, David had almost gone into the boys' bedroom, but he corrected himself before anyone noticed his misstep.  
Oh well. He liked talking to the girls better anyway. They danced to cheesy pop music without caring who watched. 

Actually, one of the first things the girls did was set up a table on which they placed all the food they were willing to share.  
Within seconds of determining what table would be used, it became piled high with candy, bread, and other junk food.  
David contributes a bag of candy labeled, "for Estonians only," as well as a bag of almonds and a box of granola bars. 

-

The scene of girls, all hugging and giggling and laughing and singing and sharing, reminded him a lot of the newsboys. 

Nothing with those boys was personal.  
Nothing with these girls was personal. 

-

Soon after unpacking, everyone was called down for games. Some of the American interns living in Estonia and leading the camps had set up team building exercises. They were cheesy, but David would take whatever chances he could get to connect with this group of people.  
Of course, nothing was ever quite that easy. He was doing his best to be in the moment and to be participating, just like his dad had reminded him to do before he left.  
But if his heart was somewhere different than his heart and body, how was he supposed to give 100%?

-

He needed to forget his friends and boyfriends, just for four days. It sounded awful and mean, but it was the truth.  
He needed to be in the moment.  
There wasn't wifi here anyway, so it wasn't like he could text them. Maybe that could be helpful. "Out of sight, out of mind," and all that. 

-

He'd keep the picture he had of the three of them, he decided, but he'd change his lock screen from it to something else. A basic background. And he made a resolution. 

"Okay," he told the table of food when he was back in the room, and alone. "I'm going to be here. Present. I'm going to learn everything I can while I'm here. And I'm going to appreciate it. I'm going to make sure I'm content with what I've got."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Tell me your thoughts; what was good, and what wasn't? 
> 
> Also go follow the playlist I made for this series, and see if you get all the references! https://open.spotify.com/user/nerdybek/playlist/35dkcCS3ssFogEk8kMZkHP


	4. The Story

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Projecting? Totally.

Camp was going so much better than David ever could have expected. Honestly, if he’d thought last year had been incredible, this was just so much more. There were more American leaders, more Estonian leaders, and more than three times as many Estonian campers, all there to learn and teach English. There were more games being played, more songs being sung, and more friendships to cultivate. 

More wasn’t always better, though. There was more noise, more letters to write to campers, more time he had to be socializing and less to have peace and quiet. 

It was hard, having to constantly, “go, go, go,” but that did have its upsides.  
David was keeping his resolution. Because he had to be going almost 24 hours a day, he’d barely had any time to think about how he was feeling, or about Jack and Crutchie. He had to be in the moment; if he wasn’t, he’d get run over. 

He found a little bit of solace in a corner of the hallway outside the girls’ bedroom. There was a window there that stretched at least five feet tall, and a window ledge that could sit up to three people. Even when he sat there, he wasn’t thinking much about life at home.  
Each person at the camp had an envelope taped on a wall near the gymnasium. These were the mailboxes, where everyone could send and receive kind notes. David hoped to be able to give each camper at least one note. So he would sit in the window ledge, plug in his earbuds, and write notes. Hopefully, people would understand that when he did this, he wasn’t trying to be rude, but he needed alone time. 

His boys weren’t completely out of his mind, obviously. Forgetting people rarely, if ever, works that easily.  
He hadn’t mentioned Jack and Crutchie to anyone, though, until midway through the week. 

His intent was to tell a funny story. One of the girls - the girl who slept next to him - had just finished telling him a story about a time her friend jumped off of the stage at their school and sprained their ankle.  
That story launched David into a tale of his own. 

“Oh my gosh, I have a - uh - friend,” he started. Better to say that Jack was just a friend, he decided. Even though everyone there thought he was a cis girl, it was better safe than sorry. After all, what if one day, he introduced Crutchie to one of these people as his boyfriend, but they were under the impression that his only boyfriend was named Jack?  
“He sprained his ankle doing Lord knows what, something stupid, probably,” he threw his head back with a laugh.  
“He came to school and insisted on walking on the ankle and doing all this other stuff. I got so angry at him for hurting himself more.”

He noticed that his friend wasn’t really listening anymore.

“But then I thought about it a little more, and I realized that I only got angry because I love him so much. And so basically-”

At that point, the girl walked away. Determined to finish his story, David walked up to another person and ended his sentence.  
“-I don’t know how to handle having emotion.”

The new conversation partner began to laugh uncontrollably. David didn’t blame her, of course. How weird is it to have someone randomly walk up to you and tell you that they don’t know how to deal with feeling things?  
But something had changed as David told the story.

The story didn’t end up being quite as funny as he thought it was going to be. It sounded more pathetic, now that he actually said it out loud.  
What kind of person can’t handle loving someone, and ends up dealing with it by getting angry? Sociopaths. Abusers. 

David withdrew from the group. It was the first time in days he had though about Jack and Crutchie, and he realized that he was maybe at risk for being abusive toward them. 

He didn’t like putting labels on feelings. He believed that ranking feelings from best to worst dulled the good memories and sharpened bad ones. That said, he’d never felt quite so bad: guilty, confused, sad, and, yeah, a little angry.

David did continue to have a good time at camp. The people were great, teaching English was so fun, and building relationships made him feel like every new friendship might change his life. 

And yet. 

The thought of, “do I show love in a negative way?” plagued him every time his mind had a second to wander. Maybe he was being confusing to Jack and Crutchie when he got angry. He’d make sure he talked to them about that when he got back.  
And he’d make sure to make a point of showing love; deep, real, passionate, and fearful love, in a positive way from here on out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Y'all are so great. If you're leaving comments and kudos, I want to hug you all.


	5. The Festival

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't have any idea when the next chapter is going to go up, so here's this.

Camp had ended. That was weird to say. David’s body certainly felt the effects of five hours of sleep a night and nonstop action in the other 19 hours, but his mind and his heart wanted to live like this forever.   
He, and almost everyone else, sobbed as campers were picked up by their parents, and then more as a bus carried American and Estonian leaders away from the school building where camp had been held.   
It hurt because it mattered, his brain insisted on reminding him. That didn’t make saying goodbyes any easier, but it helped, somehow. 

He woke up the next morning in the same hotel where they had stayed a week ago. A bed felt so good, David didn’t even remember falling asleep.   
His face was soaked and caked when he woke up, from spit and from tears. He ignored it. 

The day, their last day in Estonia, was about as standard as their other one in Tallinn. Sightseeing, food, and lots of tourist-y stuff was on the agenda.   
David and his roommate, the same loud one with the purple hair from last time, got ready and went downstairs for breakfast. 

After breakfast, however, the plot began to thicken. 

“So we’re going to have lots of, uh, company today,” David’s boss told the group hesitantly. “This weekend, the city is hosting two festivals at the same time. One is the pride parade, and the other is the medieval festival.”

“So we’re going to see lots of gay knights?” one of the older girls spoke up.  
Everyone laughed.  
David wished. No, actually, he didn’t. He just wanted to see his princes. 

It seemed that the issue was settled, but as soon as the group made it into the heart of the city, they spotted the parade. Rainbow flags and protest signs - thankfully in English - were everywhere.

The best thing that David saw was on a t-shirt. It displayed the coat of arms of Estonia, colored in rainbow. It said, “Russia, we WILL BE FREE,” which David thought to be an important statement, given that Estonia had won its freedom from Russia, and Russia currently was persecuting gay men, and using tactics similar to those of concentration camps. The man wearing the t-shirt, both Estonian and gay, was remarkably brave.

Seeing all the celebration, David wanted nothing more than to wrap himself up in a rainbow flag and join in. He didn’t, of course. That sounded like a risk he couldn’t afford to take.   
At home, Jack and Crutchie would be sleeping, preparing for their pride parade. David was sorry to miss it. 

They continued walking, and David picked up souvenirs for Sarah, Les, his mom, and his dad. 

After lunch, David saw the transition from the pride parade to the medieval festival. Before his eyes, a drag queen got off the stage, and a band of men, their chests bare and painted green, got up with their bagpipes.   
It was at that moment that David noticed how much room there really was for crossover, and began to sincerely hope he’d see a gay night or some lesbian princesses. Of course, he remembered, if he wanted to meet lesbian princesses, he only had to talk to Sarah and Katherine. 

At dinner that night, David texted his boyfriends. 

David Jacobs (you): Hey! We’re back in Tallinn, eating dinner. We come back to America tomorrow. Saw a pride parade today. Make sure to ask me about that later, it’s quite the story. I hope you two had/will have a great time at pride! Love you loads!  
Santabae: I went to pride today, Crutchie’s coming with tomorrow. Glad you’re safe, can’t wait to see you again. Love and miss you!  
Rayofsunshine: <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	6. The Airport

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By the way, Jack entered the contact names into Davey's phone.

David Jacobs (you): I landed in La Guardia! Good to be home but I don't want to go through customs.

Rayofsunshine: Yay! Glad you're safely home-ish. Good luck with customs, don't smuggle anything. 

Santabae: Awesome! We're going on a date on Tuesday to talk all about your trip, right? 

David Jacobs (you): I'm not smuggling anything lol don't worry. We're absolutely still on for a date on Tuesday. You might have to deal with me being jet-lagged though. 

-

David texted his boyfriends from in the line at customs, trying to keep his anxiety in check. He wasn't smuggling anything. He had no reason to be nervous.   
That didn't keep him from getting nervous, of course. Customs terrified everyone. Or at least, he hoped customs terrified everyone, and not just him. 

He shut his phone off, before quickly clicking it on again as he realized he could change his background back. He was back in America, after all, and no longer needed to keep Jack and Crutchie in the back of his mind.   
With a grin, he selected the picture of the three of them and set it to his lock screen. He clicked his phone off and then on again, and stared at the familiar picture of him and his boys smiling and laughing at the camera. 

-

Customs wasn't that bad. They had it so that all customs were automated now, and he only had to scan his passport, check any items that he was traveling with, and then take a picture of his face.   
He did have to talk to someone face to face once he had his bag, but that went easily enough; he showed them his passport, they asked if they had anything to declare, he said no, and he moved on. 

-

"I'm so ready to see my family," one of the girls leaned over and told him. Her voice was tired but shaky with excitement. 

"Oh me too. I really missed my brother and sister and parents," he replied. He was so ready to see them all. Honestly, he was especially anxious to see Sarah and Les again; they were the hardest people to leave for ten days.   
Except, maybe, for Jack and Crutchie. 

-

Sarah was the first person he saw when he stepped out of the international arrivals security. Les was next, both because he was in someone's shoulders and because he was screaming, "Look, Sarah, it's David!"  
The next person he saw was Jack, holding Les on his shoulders and grinning like an idiot. Crutchie stood next to him, practically bouncing with elation at the upcoming reunion.   
His parents stood behind the four, both with their arms crossed but looking happy to see their son. 

-

David dragged his bag along the floor, faster and faster, the wheels clicking on every bump of the tile. 

Sarah ran at him, and flung her arms around his neck. "I'm glad you're home, little bro," she whispered pointedly. She took his rolling bag from his hand. 

Crutchie hugged him next, reaching one arm around David's waist, and allowing David to put his arms around his boyfriend's neck. They squeezed each other so tightly, David was worried that one of them would get hurt.   
Unfortunately, Crutchie understood that they couldn't look suspicious in front of David's parents, and let go long before either of them wanted to. 

Jack had taken Les down, so David found his little brother wrapped around his waist almost the second he stopped hugging Crutchie. He laughed and ruffled Les's hair before pulling him tighter.   
All the younger boys and older girls at camp had reminded him of Sarah and Les, but they hadn't come close to the originals. 

"Alright, alright, it's my turn now, kiddo," Jack's voice interrupted Les's hug. David felt his right hand being grabbed, and pulled into a bro-hug. Jack slapped his back, and it was over too quickly.   
Jack did squeeze his hand tightly, though, which David interpreted as a promise. "Later," it said. 

He hugged his parents too, and they grabbed his backpack and his little bag from him. 

"Ready?" his mom asked the group, checking to do a headcount. "We've got all seven of us. Anyone need to go to the bathroom?"

"I do!" Les raised his hand.   
He ran off, and his dad followed. 

Jack clapped a hand on David's shoulder. "How was the trip?"

"It was awesome. It was just so incredible. I'm so excited to tell you guys all about it."

"Well, you can tell us some stuff today, and then some when we hang out later on Tuesday, right?" Crutchie asked with a smile, and a glance toward David's mom, who nodded. 

Sarah smiled at the three of them trying so hard to be relaxed when they were all so happy to see each other. 

"Um, yeah, but uh," David stammered, not sure if he should ask. "Mom, do you think it'd be okay if Jack and Crutchie stayed over at our house tonight? I know you don't really like me having sleepovers with oth- with boys, but just this once? I mean, I'm so tired anyway that I don't think any if us could be up late doing anything, but I've also been surrounded by people for a long time and it'd be hard for me to just be alone all of a sudden. And I've missed my friends so much; I've barely seen them all summer," he pleaded. 

"Is it really a good idea if you're tired? Shouldn't you be worried about sleeping?" 

"I'll still sleep, I'll just also have people with me. Please?"

His mom actually looked at Sarah, not any of the three boys, to see if it was a good idea. Sarah, ever helpful, nodded. He'd have to thank her later. 

"Alright then, but there'd better not be anything going on, okay? I don't love the idea of my daughter in a room with boys. Actually, maybe Sarah will stay in the same room as you and the boys. Does that sound okay?" 

"I guess that's fair," David allowed, looking around at everyone else. Sarah, Jack, and Crutchie all nodded. 

"That's settled then. Jack, Crutchie, you should call your mothers."

With that, Les and David's father returned from the bathroom. David's father looked significantly more tired after that trip. 

-

They all piled into Esther's minivan; Les and Sarah sat in the front, Mayer rode shotgun, and Jack, David, and Crutchie sat in the far back, with David in the middle. 

As the collective group asked David questions about the trip, Jack and Crutchie held David's hands, making sure to keep their hands out of sight from the people in the front of the van. 

-

 

When they got home, the three boys and Sarah made their way into David's room. 

"I'll probably only stay with you three for an hour or so, or at least until mom and dad and Les are asleep," Sarah told them, laying out blankets on the floor. "I want to make sure you boys have enough time together. But I'll be back pretty early in the morning, to make sure you aren't all clinging to each other when mom comes in." 

"Sarah," Jack asked as she sat down. "Has anyone told you recently how amazing you are?" 

"I could stand to be told more often."

"Sarah, you're awesome."

"Thanks, Crutchie."

-

Sarah did leave, eventually, and David, Crutchie, and Jack hopped up on the bed seconds after the door closed behind her. 

David was asleep within seconds of laying down.   
Before he slept, he wondered what he had missed the most from home. The answer, of course, was in the question. What he had missed most while he was away from home was home.   
And home was where he was now.   
The trip had been awesome, incredible, and exciting, but nothing could compare to being home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for letting me process through my trip like this. Thanks for reading. 
> 
> As always, I'd love to hear what you thought! And come follow me on tumblr @javidblue and @spot-and-all-his-cronies

**Author's Note:**

> Tell me what you thought, I'd love to know!


End file.
